Catullus 24-30

Original Latin

XXIV. ad Iuventium

O qui flosculus es Iuventiorum,

non horum modo, sed quot aut fuerunt

aut posthac aliis erunt in annis,

mallem divitias Midae dedisses

isti, cui neque servus est neque arca,

quam sic te sineres ab illo amari.

'qui? non est homo bellus?' inquies. est:

sed bello huic neque servus est neque arca.

hoc tu quam lubet abice elevaque:

nec servum tamen ille habet neque arcam.

XXV. ad Thallum

Cinaede Thalle, mollior cuniculi capillo

vel anseris medullula vel imula oricilla

vel pene languido senis situque araneoso,

idemque, Thalle, turbida rapacior procella,

cum diva mulier aries ostendit oscitantes,

remitte pallium mihi meum, quod involasti,

sudariumque Saetabum catagraphosque Thynos,

inepte, quae palam soles habere tamquam avita.

quae nunc tuis ab unguibus reglutina et remitte,

ne laneum latusculum manusque mollicellas

inusta turpiter tibi flagella conscribillent,

et insolenter aestues, velut minuta magno

deprensa navis in mari, vesaniente vento.

XXVI. ad Furium

Furi villula vestra non ad Austri

flatus opposita est neque ad Favoni

nec saevi Boreae aut Apheliotae,

verum ad milia quindecim et ducentos.

o ventum horribilem atque pestilentem!

XXVII. ad pincernam suum

Minister vetuli puer Falerni

inger mi calices amariores,

ut lex Postumiae iubet magistrae

ebrioso acino ebriosioris.

at vos quo lubet hinc abite, lymphae

vini pernicies, et ad severos

migrate. hic merus est Thyonianus.

XXVIII. ad Verannium et Fabullum

Pisonis comites, cohors inanis,

aptis sarcinulis et expeditis,

Verani optime tuque mi Fabulle,

quid rerum geritis? satisne cum isto

vappa frigoraque et famem tulistis?

ecquidnam in tabulis patet lucelli

expensum, ut mihi, qui meum secutus

praetorem refero datum lucello?

o Memmi, bene me ac diu supinum

tota ista trabe lentus irrumasti.

sed, quantum video, pari fuistis

casu: nam nihilo minore verpa

farti estis. pete nobiles amicos!

at vobis mala multa di deaeque

dent, opprobria Romuli Remique.

XXIX. in Romulum cathamitum

Quis hoc potest videre, quis potest pati,

nisi impudicus et vorax et aleo,

Mamurram habere quod Comata Gallia

habebat uncti et ultima Britannia?

cinaede Romule haec videbis et feres?

et ille nunc superbus et superfluens

perambulabit omnium cubilia,

ut albulus columbus aut Adoneus?

cinaede Romule, haec videbis et feres?

es impudicus et vorax et aleo.

eone nomine, imperator unice,

fuisti in ultima occidentis insula,

ut ista vestra diffututa mentula

ducenties comesset aut trecenties?

quid est alid sinistra liberalitas?

parum expatravit an parum elluatus est?

paterna prima lancinata sunt bona,

secunda praeda Pontica, inde tertia

Hibera, quam scit amnis aurifer Tagus:

nunc Galliae timetur et Britanniae.

quid hunc malum fovetis? aut quid hic potest

nisi uncta devorare patrimonia?

eone nomine urbis opulentissime

socer generque, perdidistis omnia?

XXX. ad Alphenum

Alfene immemor atque unanimis false sodalibus,

iam te nil miseret, dure, tui dulcis amiculi?

iam me prodere, iam non dubitas fallere, perfide?

nec facta impia fallacum hominum caelicolis placent.

quae tu neglegis ac me miserum deseris in malis.

eheu quid faciant, dic, homines cuive habeant fidem?

certe tute iubebas animam tradere, inique, me

inducens in amorem, quasi tuta omnia mi forent.

idem nunc retrahis te ac tua dicta omnia factaque

ventos irrita ferre ac nebulas aereas sinis.

si tu oblitus es, at di meminerunt, meminit Fides,

quae te ut paeniteat postmodo facti faciet tui.

My Translation

Catullus 24: Furius’s Lack 

Iuventius, you are the lovely bloom of your race, 

not just now, but for all times passed and all times that are yet to pass.  

Please, give your wealth to Midas, 

who has no slaves or money, instead of continuing to let yourself be loved by him.

“Why, isn’t he an attractive man?” you ask. 

He is, but for all his good looks, he still has no slaves or money. 

Ignore it or make light of it as you wish–

he still has no slaves and no money. 

Catullus 25: I Know You Took Them  

Thallus, you cocksucker, are even softer than

the fur of a rabbit, a goose’s grease, the delicate tip of an earlobe, or 

an old man’s impotent phallus that lies, neglected, in cobwebs. 

And yet, Thallus, when the fullness of the moon shines and my 

other guests begin to nod off and fall asleep, 

you become more greedy than a tempestuous storm. 

Return the coat you pounced on, and 

my lovely Spanish napkins, and 

my Bithynian painted tableware 

that you, you outlandish man, display as if they were your family’s heirlooms!

Return them, or else your delicate flank and tender fingers

will be whipped, leaving behind shameful lines as 

hot as the iron shackles that disgrace a common thief. 

I’ll excite you in a brand new way! 

Your body will spin like a tiny boat caught in the open sea–

the winds raging.

Catullus 26: A Malevolent Mortgage

Furius, your family’s quaint little abode 

is not exposed to powerful gusts from the south or the west, 

from the savage Boreas or the Apheliota, but rather 

stands against fifteen thousand two hundred sesteria–

what a harsh, destructive wind! 

Catullus 27: Pour Me Another  

Serving boy! Pour me a stronger cup of that aged Falerian wine–

Postumia’s (the mistress, drunker than any drink) laws demand it. 

And water, the death of good wine, get away! 

Migrate as far as you please–to the sober, 

conservative guard; here, 

our drink is pure Bacchus.

Catullus 28: Evil Patrons

Most excellent Veranius, and you, my Fabullus, 

friends of Piso, you useless staff, with 

backpacks readied and unencumbered, 

what do you carry?

Haven’t you endured enough hunger and cold for that idler?

Do your account books show even minimal profit, or anything 

I can count as a return on what I paid, 

following my praetor? 

O Memmius, for so long you compelled me, lying supine, 

To suck your cock– the whole shaft of it,

daily and slowly. 

But, as far as I can tell, you all were forced 

just the same– stuffed with a phallus, no less excited. 

Friends, seek out the noble ones! 

And yet also let the deities give to you

many curses– you disgraces to Romulus and Remus! 

Catullus 29: Complacency 

Who could see–could endure–it, 

except a shameless, gambling glutton? 

Mamurra holds in wealth what the 

province of Gaul, the furthest lands of Britain, once contained. 

You pervert, Romulus, will you stand for this?

He, arrogant and insatiable, ventures through everyone’s bed, 

acting like a white dove, an Adonis! 

You pervert, Romulus, will you stand for this?

Surely this couldn’t have been the reason you, peerless leader, 

were stationed on an island far west: so this 

debauched animal of yours 

could consume everything 200, 300 times?

What else could this be but reckless generosity–

has he not squandered enough? 

First gone was his substantial inheritance.

Second, plunder from the Black Sea,  

then third, Spain’s treasures (which the gold-bearing Tagus knows well) –

Gaul and Britain shake in fear, wondering if they are next! 

Why do you nurture this scoundrel? 

What can he do besides devour his plentiful inheritance?

Was it really for him, that you, 

father-in-law, son-in-law, 

wasted everything wealthy in this world

Catullus 30: A Faithless Friend

Do you have no sympathy, Alfenus,

you negligent liar even to your friends,

for your gentle friend?

Do you, traitor, no longer hesitate to betray me? 

Profane deeds of liars never please the gods– 

like the deed you forget: leaving me, wretched, 

to sink into my woes. 

Tell me, what should men do? Who should they have faith in?

You, clearly biased, keep ordering me to entrust my soul to you –

seducing me with friendship, as if everything were fine!

And then you withdraw yourself, and let all your vanity, your evil actions and words, 

be carried off by the winds into the airy clouds. 

Yet, even if you choose to forget us, the gods will not– Faith remembers. 

They will ensure, my friend, that one day you will regret what you’ve done.