Catullus 69-76

Original Latin

LXIX. ad Rufum

Noli admirari, quare tibi femina nulla,

Rufe, velit tenerum supposuisse femur,

non si illam rarae labefactes munere vestis

aut perluciduli deliciis lapidis.

laedit te quaedam mala fabula, qua tibi fertur

ualle sub alarum trux habitare caper.

hunc metuunt omnes, neque mirum: nam mala valde est

bestia, nec quicum bella puella cubet.

quare aut crudelem nasorum interfice pestem,

aut admirari desine cur fugiunt.

LXX.

Nulli se dicit mulier mea nubere malle

quam mihi, non si se Iuppiter ipse petat.

dicit: sed mulier cupido quod dicit amanti,

in vento et rapida scribere oportet aqua.

LXXI.

Si cui iure bono sacer alarum obstitit hircus,

aut si quem merito tarda podagra secat.

aemulus iste tuus, qui vestrem exercet amorem,

mirifice est a te nactus utrumque malum.

nam quotiens futuit, totiens ulciscitur ambos:

illam affligit odore, ipse perit podagra.

LXXII. ad Lesbiam

Dicebas quondam solum te nosse Catullum,

Lesbia, nec prae me velle tenere Iovem.

dilexi tum te non tantum ut vulgus amicam,

sed pater ut gnatos diligit et generos.

nunc te cognovi: quare etsi impensius uror,

multo mi tamen es vilior et levior.

qui potis est, inquis? quod amantem iniuria talis

cogit amare magis, sed bene velle minus.

LXXIII.

Desine de quoquam quicquam bene velle mereri

aut aliquem fieri posse putare pium.

omnia sunt ingrata, nihil fecisse benigne

prodest immo etiam taedet obestque magis;

ut mihi, quem nemo gravius nec acerbius urget,

quam modo qui me unum atque unicum amicum habuit.

LXXIV. ad Gellium

Gellius audierat patruum obiurgare solere,

si quis delicias diceret aut faceret.

hoc ne ipsi accideret, patrui perdepsuit ipsam

uxorem, et patruum reddidit Arpocratem.

quod voluit fecit: nam, quamvis irrumet ipsum

nunc patruum, verbum non faciet patruus.

LXXV. ad Lesbiam

Huc est mens deducta tua mea, Lesbia, culpa

atque ita se officio perdidit ipsa suo,

ut iam nec bene velle queat tibi, si optima fias,

nec desistere amare, omnia si facias.

LXXVI. ad deos

Siqua recordanti benefacta priora voluptas

est homini, cum se cogitat esse pium,

nec sanctam violasse fidem, nec foedere nullo

divum ad fallendos numine abusum homines,

multa parata manent in longa aetate, Catulle,

ex hoc ingrato gaudia amore tibi.

nam quaecumque homines bene cuiquam aut dicere possunt

aut facere, haec a te dictaque factaque sunt.

omnia quae ingratae perierunt credita menti.

quare iam te cur amplius excrucies?

quin tu animo offirmas atque istinc teque reducis,

et dis invitis desinis esse miser?

difficile est longum subito deponere amorem,

difficile est, verum hoc qua lubet efficias:

una salus haec est. hoc est tibi pervincendum,

hoc facias, sive id non pote sive pote.

o di, si vestrum est misereri, aut si quibus umquam

extremam iam ipsa in morte tulistis opem,

me miserum aspicite et, si vitam puriter egi,

eripite hanc pestem perniciemque mihi,

quae mihi subrepens imos ut torpor in artus

expulit ex omni pectore laetitias.

non iam illud quaero, contra me ut diligat illa,

aut, quod non potis est, esse pudica velit:

ipse valere opto et taetrum hunc deponere morbum.

o di, reddite mi hoc pro pietate mea.

My Translation

Catullus 69: You Stink!

Rufus, you really shouldn’t be surprised that 

no woman wants to place her soft thighs 

beneath you, 

despite you tempting her with the pleasures of 

rare clothing or brilliant, untarnished gems. 

Rufus, a certain nasty reputation follows you, 

hurting you with the ladies: 

that under your armpits, 

a savage goat lives. 

All the women are terrified of it, and 

that’s not at all surprising–

it’s quite a foul beast that 

no decent girl would ever lie down beside. 

Either kill that cruel plague

assaulting our noses, 

or stop wondering why women run!

Catullus 70: Pretty Lies

My lady told me that she wouldn’t 

rather marry anyone else–

not even if Jupiter himself desired her. 

She says all this, 

but what a woman says to her infatuated lover should be 

written on the wind, or in running water. 

Catullus 71: Karma 

If a goat’s stink sticks to the armpits of a deserving man, 

or if slow gout cripples him with good reason, 

your rival– the one who also loves your lover–

has most fortuitously detracted both sicknesses! 

So, whenever he loves her, 

you receive twin revenge: 

            she’s pained by the stench 

            and he’s wrecked with gout. 

Catullus 72: Then And Now 

Once, Lesbia, you used to swear that you loved only Catullus, 

and would not rather be held by Jupiter instead. 

Once, I loved you not merely as 

a crowd loves a mistress, 

but as a father loves his sons and sons-in-law. 

Now, I know you– and so I burn 

more fiercely with passion, yet 

you are also, to me, worth far less. 

“How can both be true?” you ask.

Because the pain of great love 

forces a lover both to love harder, 

and to care less. 

Catullus 73: On the Evilness of Man  

Stop hoping to earn everyone’s kindness!

Stop thinking everyone is loyal!

Everyone is ungrateful – doing good helps no one, 

just wearies and harms you all the more. 

Learn from me: no one hates me as 

harshly, as bitterly, as the man who just recently called me

his one and only friend. 

Catullus 74: A Precaution  

Gellius had heard that his uncle used to scold anyone 

speaking or acting indecently. 

So, to stop his uncle from scolding him, 

he fucked his uncle’s wife and made him a Harpocrates. 

And it worked– he can curse his uncle to his face, 

and the man won’t utter a single word back. 

Catullus 75: Unconditionally Yours

My Lesbia, you have destroyed my mind–

ruined it through its devotion to you! 

So now, even if you became perfect, 

it couldn’t wish you well. 

And even if you were to do the worst things possible, 

it couldn’t ever stop loving you. 

Catullus 76: A Plea to the Gods

If a man is at all pleased by remembering his good deeds 

of times past– when he thought himself virtuous, 

unbreaking of sacred trust, 

and not using the gods’ names to deceive others–

you, Catullus, must feel so much joy,

for you will live a long life, 

tarnished only by your thankless love.  

Anything a good man could say or do, 

has been said and done by you! 

And yet all of it is reduced to nothing –

entrusted to an ungrateful heart. 

Why do you keep torturing yourself? 

Why don’t you steady your mind, 

leave her,

and, although the gods appear to oppose it, 

end your misery?

It is difficult to end a long love all at once, 

but you must try – in any way you can, for 

this alone is your salvation. 

Your love must be conquered. 

Conquer it, whether it is possible or not! 

And O gods, if you have ever pitied a man, 

or have aided any man teetering on death’s edge, 

look on miserable me, 

and if you judge me to have lived a pure life, lift this plague!

Save me from ruin! 

Ah! I can feel it – 

the numbness creeping into my body’s depths–

it has driven all joys from my heart. 

I can no longer ask her to love me back, 

nor ask her to be what she cannot be: faithful. 

I can only now wish to get better 

and lay aside this treacherous disease. 

O gods, in return for my devotion,

please help!